#1 Role

Who or what makes you feel complete?

This is a tough question to answer honestly!  I know the answer IS God, but sometimes my little mind gets sidetracked from the bigger picture.  The kids have a tough day which means I have a tough day.  I feel drained.  Kevin is working a lot which leaves us very little time to even have a real conversation.  I feel empty.  I don't prioritize my day well and when the day is done, I feel mad at myself for not accomplishing anything that needed to get done.  Doing day-to-day life and relying on others for your happiness is an uphill battle!

This is where my DOK class comes in to give me a slap upside the head.  This last Wednesday we were talking about when my husband doesn't meet all my (thousands of) expectations, when he disappoints me (even though we all know I'm impossible to please).... I blame him (or the kids) for my bad mood and disappointment!  And really, I am the one to blame.  Ouch.  God never intended Kevin to make me feel complete.  Only He can do that.  He wants to make me whole.  Kevin, although he is an amazing husband, and really does everything he can think of to make me happy, it will never be enough to fill the spot only God can fill.

The book we are studying is "Finding the Hero in Your Husband" and let me tell you this book is much more about changing ME (rather than me changing him, which that seems like it would be easier)!  I'm learning a lot.  I want to grow a lot too.  When I start my day asking God to fill me up, I end the days thanking him for his faithfulness.  The days I get too busy to do that, I find myself feeling utterly drained and thinking "Why didn't I just ask God for help?"

First and foremost, I am a child of God.  Then I am a wife and a mother.  (Not to mention a daughter and sister and friend.)  For all those relationships and roles to happen the way they were intended, I need take care of my #1 role first!  It makes so much sense to me now, I just need to keep putting it in practice!